Dating Advice

As we get older, we see our friends get married and have babies. And after a while, it seems that the large group of single friends you used to have in college has now dwindled to a choice few, if any. And as those friends have gotten married, they really want you to join in their "marriage club," so they start offering dating advice. So the question is, do you take the dating advice or leave the dating advice?

The answer? Both. Yes, it is a vague answer, but it is a right answer. Vague dating advice can be things you post on your fridge, but will get you no closer to the man or woman of your dreams. And those people who give that kind of dating advice probably didn't do much dating to begin with. However, your married friends often have great dating advice that they didn't even know they are giving you.

For instance, listen to your married friends talk about how they met and got to know each other. These talks contain great dating advice, because in those conversations are hints to your dating life. Really, most people didn't meet in clubs or at a bar. Most people marry those they were introduced to by friends or people they have worked with. Don't denounce your friends offers to set you up, because you never know who will come walking through that door.

Your friends will also talk about the impressions from when they first met, both good and bad. Great dating advice comes out of learning this information. You will get dating advice about how to handle things if, heaven forbid, you make a bad impression. They will be able to advise you on ways to turn that impression around. Plus, if they made a good impression, you'll get great dating advice on creative and effective dating ideas.

Listening to how your friends have maintained their relationships can provide you with dating advice for your current relationship. How they work out problems and celebrate each other's uniqueness can give you a gauge to see how you are doing in your relationship and give you dating ideas to enhance your connection to your dating partner.

And don't be afraid to request and listen to dating advice from your friends and family. Ask for honest advice, and be willing to listen. Sometimes friends see things in you that you cannot see yourself. They can tell you in what situations you clam up or about that fidgeting habit. They can tell you when your dating relationship isn't what it should be. Take it in stride, but also consider it. The advice isn't meant maliciously, it is meant to make you a better person and your dating relationship stronger.

I have sat and listened to more people in my life share ideas about how they met and when they fell in love. From those talks, I have gleaned a library of great dating ideas and knowledge of how to make a great first impression. But always remember that, even with the best dating advice, you still have to be yourself. Just because an idea worked for your friends, it may not work for you, and don't fall into that pressure just because your friends want you to get married. You need to be yourself. If you are happy being single, then be single. It is up to you.

Still, the key is to not take your friends' dating advice for granted. You have permission to roll your eyes the next time someone tells you to "just get out there." And you also take it in stride when someone says, "I know the perfect person for you." But take a look at the larger picture. When you listen to those around you and take in the hidden dating advice they have to offer, you may find your dating life blooming like never before.

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