Finding Your Match

Phone

Speaking by phone for the first time with someone you've been talking to only online up until this point can be a very nerve racking experience. You will find a lot of people will be pretty eager to call you quite early on. I recommend against this until you are feeling really comfortable with the person online first. There's just no need to take it offline until you're really ready. In particular, you should NEVER give out your personal details such as your phone number over the dating service until you're absolutely sure you know whom you're talking to. As was said in the first part of the guide on safety, if you do give out any phone numbers, then it's probably best to make sure it's your mobile phone number.

Ideally though, you will want to have their phone number, and not the other way round. This puts you in a position of control. Besides your personal safety, it also means that you get to decide when you want to phone them.

When talking on the phone for the first time you should still remain cautious. If you've been following the guide, you will have remained truthful throughout the online process. But has your new interest done the same? The key thing is to listen hard. Does what you're hearing all add up to what you've previously been told online?

Not everyone's comfortable on the phone and if that's you then you will probably be more vulnerable on the phone and less willing to say "no". If you don't feel ready to give out your phone number then be strong and say so. Don't let them force you into it. Again, if they really do care about you then they will understand.

As I've said, unless you're a really confident person, then you're likely to be a little nervy. That's natural and it's not something to worry about, as the person on the other end of the phone should be able to appreciate how you feel anyway. However, to avoid those uncomfortable silences, why not write a small plan of some stuff that you'd like to talk about?

Having their phone number means that you wont be called unawares. However, if they really do care about you then they will be happy to take a call from you at almost any time. Don't make yourself a nuisance, but make a couple of calls to them when they're not expecting it and gage their reaction. If they sound pleased to hear from you, then this is a positive sign.

By then end of the first call you should be feeling a little more relaxed. Hopefully if everything's gone well, you'll also feel quite excited!

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